As I attended to my very best friend, she was always as pleasant as she could be. Lovingly in my eyes she could do no wrong. My very best friend, you know the one. The one who calls everyday no matter what! Maybe even three times a day if she wants. Yes that's right you mother! How terrible life is without her and her calls. Devastation is the very word! Maybe desolation, even. Although grace had never left her as she mild mannerly chose the worst way to make her exit. In the very worst hospital known to man, gasp. Respecting her wishes the ambulance came and her descent down the steps in a fireman's carry in the biggest downpour of the season. The paramedics cover her head to keep her dry as they must do a transfer into an ambulance gurney from the seated fireman's carry. Deep within my soul writhing in emotional pain knowing that is the last time mother would ever see her home again.
Try as she may with all the speech therapy, physical therapy, and learning to eat and swallow with intermittent Tia's or faints. His grace just dealt her heart too short a time to carry her otherwise healthy body to a full span of time deserving of such a graceful beauty as my mother. Watching the panic on my father's face and the disappointment of her heart's failure to push circulation through her lungs properly. Seeing the emotions of those around her whose love for her was indestructible! Her beauty to us always masked how poorly her body was functioning on the inside. She would never complain, although we had brought her home to pass she was to return at the end.
You see the end is the extreme sad reality. My father had to do all her care until we could arrive and mother was indeed alone in the nursing facility for as long as 8 to 10 hours where we found her to be so truly neglected that we knew it would be curtains for all those when their turn to face the end came. The actual truth in life's long lesson is; what true grace you give can be what true grace you receive at your own end! Sorry to say we tried three of the best skilled nursing bed hospital in the area. Brand spanking new one story sprawls out in the beautiful countrysides of ten buck two. All three we tried were useless, as she lay for hours in bed unable to dress herself, feed herself or raise herself up in the bed. We knew as we shifted our hours and kept changing locations to see if we could leave her even if only for the night. After all she was one of the fortunate with excellent health care and medicare and God's grace just made it that way thanks to my father.
Unknown to them she had a cell phone in her big thick robe and we could time them and hear all their movements. She was a very kind and patient woman and would never complain. She would wait an hour before she would call us an hour do you know how cold it is for someone covered only in a sheet to wait and hour to get fully dried and dressed or at least have a blanket and be tucked in somewhat. To sit there and be looking at your tray of food and know you cannot gather the strength to feed yourself and your vocal cords are too tired to complain. Of course we decided to bring her home and she had actually had better care in her own living room with all the staff coming in instead of her suffering in an institution. Could she have possibly benefitted home care immediately after coming off the ventilator and out intensive care. Absolutely! It may have made the difference in the quality of the end!
Although you only get so many heartbeats in a lifetime you never get to meet someone with a real heart unconditionally like my mother.
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