BFF

I revisited the funeral of a past best friend forever,(BFF), and from memory I believe it to have been one of the largest funerals I had ever attended. The whole service is a Christian Celebration. As I sit in the widows’ seat on the front pew wondering how it all came to this. Relativity is so abstract, I am continuously hoping for a genius to intercede into this flashback to another time and life that has bearing as luggage on eternity. You see or maybe you cannot see Him. Could I be the only one who knew this person as he was prepared to go home? Knowing you are going home is actually much different than leaving with sudden death. How will he face his struggle? Midway news came that he was in remission and he got a second wind and began to brag. Like a firefly, the rapscallion returned with a vengeance to vindicate the disease that had been arrested. Flashing on and off inside the poor human, while the doctors scramble to stop the factory producing killer cells realizing finally at the end he could never have a bone marrow now , he could not even qualify to get on a list. At the end no part of his body would obey any prayer neither medicines, despite the purity and sincerity of the best efforts of thousands of people.
Who is right and what could or could not be wrong teaching has left a mark that can never be healed. It stands to reason when one starts to lose lithe thinking they will feel better tomorrow that something is definitely amiss. At the hospital, I saw the dappled outlines on the x-rays and they were numerous and looked fearsome. The doctors give him that last call, (gingerly telling him the bad news), trying not to offend the patient. The patient, who wants to keep trying to beat a disease, looks at you and your glance confirms,"That is all that can be done."And a doctor who has been trained to stop when tests return unresponsive to treatment knows how it all came to this. We will always be wondering about karma, as he began to wither already bald from chemotherapy. Only the nice people die young. Why?
One wonders how the creator would let such a talent He created be given over to the grave. The doctors have a Pass/Fail DNA test prior to treatment to check if you are a candidate for treatment. I wondered what happened to those who failed. Does that mean they don’t try at all? I never asked that question. In quiet desperation, my internal struggle with a belief system used to constant triumph and victory, to another world that I no longer understood.
The nervous grave digger smiled at the guard knowing they would beat the tempest riding onto shore with gale winds and enough water to flood the site. Even then I learned to give thanks for the preparation, the obvious schedule keeper, provided as I was scooped up and back in the limo as the torrent rain poured and the wind blew immediately it was dark at three in the afternoon with this storm. Very similar to His day I thought as I was whisked off to the reception celebration. Going home midway in preparation in this life is proof positive that relativity determines whether you Pass/Fail. How versatility will cause you to be fickle as you press to trump in this race as a schizophrenic chameleon so you might be guaranteed His promise. Really there are no other promises just abstract distractions. Was this one? It is no wonder that folks believe modern day Christians are just plain weird. After all Christians celebrate death; with funeral celebrations and prayer, music, food and laughter. It is weird!

    ©Sharon Rose